Style tips for men

Men as well as women, harbour notions of style or have aspirations to emulate the look of high profile male style icons such as modern role models David Beckham or Jude Law and older guys like Bryan Ferry or Mick Jagger prove that a sense of refinement and great dress sense are achievable at any age. Looking groovy is most certainly not the sole preserve of the young.

If you are not sure what suits you, or if your wife used to buy all your clothes, you may need a little help. Does my Belly Look Big in this? by Sue Donnelly and Mistakes Men Make That Women Hate by Kenneth J Karpinski can tell you all need to know on this subject but in the meantime here is the My Life After Divorce brief guide for chaps on what to wear.

The following is an abstract taken from Executive Orders for the Regulation of Style in the dress of all Male Persons resident in the United Kingdom as approved by The Style Council dated 14th October 2013

Short boys
 Should not wear shoes or boots with high heels, jackets, big turn-ups on or have them too short or too wide, they won’t make you look taller, just ridiculous. They should opt for vertical stripes, straight leg trousers and single breasted jackets, sleeves and trousers should be as long as possible.

Tall boys (not a piece of furniture your granny used to have in her bedroom)
Should wear longer fitting jackets, double breasted suits, low waisted trousers and should try layering on the top half. Tall boys should not wear anything with a zip down the front (apart from trousers, of course!), jackets done all the way up, vertical stripes, jackets that stop at the waist or thin ties.

Thin boys
Should not wear shiny fabrics, v-necks, vertical stripes or patterns, tight fitting tops or narrow ties. They should wear double breasted suits, baggy low waisted trousers, chunky sweaters and polo necks, tops with horizontal stripes, padded jackets, t-shirts under waistcoats and shirts buttoned all the way up to the neck.

Chunky boys
should not wear bulky sweaters, polo necks, trousers with turn ups, padded jackets, shirts buttoned all the way up or too tight tops, loud ties. They should make sure that they buy the correct size for shirts, wear v-necks, vertical stripes or patterns (subtle), open neck shirts, ties in a plain colour, dark tops and fine knits.

Boys with big bottoms
should not wear light coloured trousers or those in shiny or clingy fabrics or that are likely to reveal bum cleavage when you bend over. They should wear loose fit or baggy trousers in plain fabrics.

Boys with big stomachs
Should wear loose fitting clothes in darker colours and single breasted jackets and trousers in similar shades. Trousers should be large enough to do up comfortably on the tummy area and ties should come down to the waistband.

They should not wear trousers that come up too high on the stomach area, double breasted jackets, light colours or anything too small that will stretch across the tummy.

This is what real chaps do!
Chaps who have three or more of the above characteristics should either wear nothing at all or realise they are still attractive and sexy human beings who will not be dictated to by the Style Police and believe in the right of all people to dress exactly as they please especially in their new life after divorce.

Blimey.