Ways to make the divorce process a bit easier: Part One

There are many ways for each of you to make things more difficult, painful and expensive for the other.  There is usually no need for advice on how to do this, for many it seems to come naturally.  However, for those not bent upon maximum destruction there are some simple ways to help you towards a stress reduced divorce.

Keep talking or start talking again
You may well have stopped talking already.  The road to divorce often starts with a breakdown of communication between you.  However, if you can talk then there will be less room for misunderstandings and more chance of a shorter and cheaper divorce process.  The longer the divorce takes the more money will pass from you both to the ever welcoming pockets of your local friendly divorce lawyer.

Think hard before you even consider defending a divorce
In reality nobody (including the Judge) is interested in the facts of the marital collapse.  If one of you wants out then the other effectively has no chance of preventing it.  The divorce process will take longer, be more expensive and arrive at the same result.  Divorce on demand is a practical reality.

Keep ‘unreasonable behaviour' to a few key examples
This is the most popular reason for divorce.  It's easy and just requires a few instances of unacceptable behaviour.  These instances need not be true and you will not be asked to prove your allegations.

The best strategy is recall a minor incident, embelish the facts and then blow it up to appear many times worse than it was.  Having a fight in court about this will achieve nothing and will be expensive.  I'm afraid you are just going to have to accept this falsehood. 

Do not involve the children in the divorce
Divorce is about two things - your children and the money.  The children are paramount.  Almost always the children do not want their parents to split up.

Involving them in the divorce process will only invite them to take sides.  This is to be avoided at all costs.  If at the end of divorce your children still love you both then that will be a very worthwhile and lasting achievement.  You will all then be better prepared for life after divorce.