Life after divorce for men - Depression or the Great Renewal?

There is a good deal of awareness of the problems faced by women in life after divorce, and so there should be.  But what about the difficulties faced by men?

Women do have a lot to cope with after divorce especially as they most often have children to look after and may have increased problems in getting or holding on to their job.  Men’s lives also change radically and no less traumatically than women’s.  According to a recent study both men and women are more likely to suffer from depression after divorce but men suffer at twice the rate of women.

Divorce is never going to be a picnic for anybody
This may well be related to the fact that women are much more likely to initiate the divorce than men.  Divorce is never going to be a picnic for anybody involved.  However the sense of loss may often be greater in men who typically experience a whole range of negative emotions such as shock, betrayal, anger, loss of self-esteem and insecurity.  Depression is a serious business.  All sorts of sorts of good advice including self help groups is available from The Depression Alliance.

dreamstime_man_in_gym7230916.jpgWhat to do straight away
What to do if you feel that you are suffering from depression.  First thing must be to go to see your GP and explain exactly how you are feeling.  If he or she says take these pills and you will feel much better in a couple of weeks then that’s not a good enough answer to your problem.  Manipulating the serotonin levels in your body may be helpful but it’s not the complete answer.

Counselling is good
Tell your GP that counselling is what you feel you need and they are available on the NHS.  However, good counsellers are hard to find as they are a bit like plumbers you only know how good they were sometime after they have finished the job and left.

Get fit, date again and don’t forget the chocolate
Perhaps the best way to help yourself is to take regular and fairly vigorous exercise.  It’s time to join the gym.  Exercise definitely has a beneficial effect on your serotonin levels and no drugs are involved!  The side effects are increased fitness, greater self confidence and the ability to eat chocolate (a great serotonin booster) without guilt.  Now it might be time to try dating again!  

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