Depressed and how not to be

Eat chocolate, watch a favourite film with a friend, go for a walk. Whatever you do try not to let things get you down.  Staying upbeat and postive is very difficult but it will help get you through.

The best thing 

Despite the fact that splitting up with your wife or husband may be the best thing for you, divorce can be unbelievably difficult.  Marriage breakdown and the loss of a person for whom you may still care very much is comparable to the death of someone close and it follows that depression is a normal emotional response.  The charity Mind has some useful infomation about depression. 

If you are experiencing general unhappiness, rather than clinical depression in your life it is still essential to get your mind back on a positive path, and much of the advice given here on dealing with depression will be equally useful.

It’s good to talk
Sometimes people feel that talking about the divorce will somehow make the experience less bearable. However, if you talk to trustworthy people – friends, a support group, a priest or therapist it can help you to feel unburdened and it will help you to clarify your thoughts about what has happened and how you see your future.

Make time for friends and family Three men talking about depression Remember, divorce depression is temporary and eventually you will want to put your life back on an even keel. So during this time take care not to cut yourself off from other aspects of your life. Maintaining contact with friends and family also serves to remind you that you are still loved and appreciated by other people.

Take your time
Moving on is a cliché that should be banned and is something that most divorced people will be sick of hearing.  It takes time to process events in order to make sense of our lives after separating from a spouse. So don’t feel that you have to surge full-speed ahead into the unknown. Take your time, feel your way, and give your body and mind time to adapt to new circumstances.

Don’t dash into relationships
Once you’ve broken free of an unhappy or destructive marriage, well meaning friends may try to persuade you to embark is on another relationship before you are ready. It can be very difficult to see your future as a single person and not as part of a couple. However, you should take as much time as you need to recover from a divorce before even considering pairing up again. Just enjoy the opportunity to discover yourself for a change and learn to value your own company.

Seek medical help
Don’t be afraid to speak to a professional about your feelings. A consultation with a doctor or a psychiatrist could lead to a course of antidepressant medication. Don’t fight it – sometimes some form of medical intervention is necessary to enable you to begin healing yourself.

Take care of yourself
If you’ve just come through a messy divorce from an insensitive spouse, you may be experiencing feelings of bitterness and worthlessness. Don’t let these feelings stagnate and fester or they will take over your life. Instead, try to discipline yourself to think positive thoughts about yourself, your life, and your future. Do things for yourself and learn how to enjoy me time without feeling guilty.  The Depression Alliance has a network of self help groups around the country which can be very effective in helping you to get back to greater stability in life.   


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