Life after divorce - get the real you back into action

Going through a divorce and coming out the other side is probably the most challenging thing you are likely to do bar solo dog sledding to the South Pole and back.

dreamstime_dogsledding8228351.jpgIt is hard to adjust to being single again, especially if you have been married for many, many years.  But there is a new out there and it can be good but you will need to work at it.  Here is some thoughts that might help.

Give yourself a break
During and after a divorce it is common to have the feeling of grieving for the loss of someone.  Some say it's even worse than that as he or she is actually still alive and may be the light in someone else's life.  Many women and men feel the need to stay busy to keep their minds off this stressful time, such as working overtime or cleaning the house from top to bottom.

Let this time also include pampering yourself.  You need treats to endorse you sense of self worth.  Don't beat yourself up about the reasons for your divorce.  They do not matter, it's done and gone.  You are a valuable person and you do matter.

Have no regrets, do not be bitter
Holding onto regrets and bitterness will only keep your life from moving forward.  Endlessly turning over in your mind the "what ifs" and "if onlys" is never ever going to change anything or make you feel better.  This is normal for a period of time but really try to keep it as short as possible.  To move your life forward, it is important to acknowledge your feelings and prepare for the next exciting chapter of your life.

Be true to yourself
During and even after your divorce, life can be full of doubts.  Question about what is right, what to do next and how to feel about it all.  It seems difficult to make decisions so listen to your heart.  What feels right? What doesn't feel quite right?  If a situation does not feel right wait sometimes waiting is the best thing to do. By waiting you may have allowed the situation to develop and the decision become more easy to make.  If a decision feels good or right it usually means you are heading in the right direction. When you listen to your heart it can make for a better and easier decision.

It will be OK in the end
Life will get better now you are divorced.  It's also worth reflecting upon the difference between getting divorced and dog sledding in Antarctica, at least now you get to talk to people rather than a bunch of ill tempered huskies!

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