Everything you already knew about sex but may have forgotten.

One of the key factors that characterise the collapse of a marriage and the often provokes the subsequent divorce is a complete lack of sex in the relationship.

For many divorcing couples the only thing they have ever done in their bed for many years is to sleep.

disinterested couple in bedGet back to more than just sleeping in bed
Many others have not even slept in the same bed.  God bless the spare bedroom.  If this has happened to you then sex may be something of a distant but fond memory (unless you have sustained yourself with the help of the wonderful Rampant Rabbit).

Either way a little revision may well set you up for the coming delights of your new life after divorce.  Preparing for a return to a satisfying sex life is as important as getting your post divorce finances better organised to maximize the benefits of your divorce settlement.  

Don't find excuses for not getting back into a good relationship
Now back to talking about the importance of sex.  If your life has become less well off materially then there is no need to miss out on a full and satisfying social life.  Getting back to having sex after the trauma of divorce is going to be difficult, especially if your relationship has been sexless for some time.

Two strategies: hunkering down or going off like a rocket
Your confidence may be severely dented and your reaction to this could go either way, hunkering down and avoiding meeting potential partners or perhaps being indiscriminate and seeking solace and great (or very often rather disappointing) sex with a number of different partners.

Neither of these strategies is a long term good idea.  In the short term they both work OK.  Getting back to a sane and balanced social life may take time and involve some disappointments.  So here are some ideas that might help make you feel better and reduce the anxiety about a new relationship which is about to take the big step forward.

Enjoy each other's bodies
Give each other compliments, pay special attention to the less favourite bits, make each other feel totally desired and sexy.  You don't have to have a perfect body to be the most desireable person on earth. 

Tell your partner what you're enjoying and why.  Talk dirty but only softly at first to make sure you are both comfortable with the words and the ideas.

Engage in foreplay
Foreplay is fantastic fun.  Tongues and fingers are the advance party checking out the lie of the land, probing gently to understand and satisfy your lover’s needs and desires.  Don't miss out on this. 

OK, so it’s the very simple stuff we all know about but may have been forgotten.  We do so at our peril.

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