Never an easy subject to talk about but one that for many men (and women) is very important especially during a divorce and life after divorce. At a time when sexual relations are at a low if not nonexistent ebb a little sexual pleasure can be a wonderful thing.
Many people who claim to know about these things consider masturbation to be the cornerstone of sexual health. Gone are the days when it was just the guilty pleasure of teenage boys, it's now absolutely fine and perfectly acceptable.
However, like all things in life it's often worth having some advice as to how best to go about it.
Make time for more than a quickie
Most guys first learn to masturbate as teenagers and often in secret and furtive ways. It's done in haste and quickly followed by a sticky Kleenex. This can create a powerful pattern of masturbating at speed and not paying enough attention to getting the very best from your sexual arousal.
An absolute prerequisite for exploring something different is to give yourself plenty of time and total privacy. This will relax you and give you the opportunity to focus totally on your pleasure needs.
Porn's OK but try it without and be more in tune with your body and your mind
Lot of guys find pornography a great stimulus to masturbation. However, it does take you out of your body a bit and allows someone else to ‘control' what is happening. Let your imagination take you where you want to go. The movie in your mind can be so much better than the finest porn California can offer! You don't need to throw it out but sometimes try masturbating without it and make things happen just the way you want it.
Is there room for learning new techniques?
Men learn early in their lives the most effective way to reach orgasm. Now when you are having sex with a woman would you just keep to the same position? Certainly not, so why restrict yourself to this when masturbating? Try any combination of the following suggestions:
Experiment with positions
Follow your instincts as you would with a partner. Variety is good and increases the pleasure and expectation of even greater things to come. If you're used to masturbating lying down on your back, try it sitting up or standing up. If you normally masturbate in the bedroom, try the bathroom. It might feel a bit odd at first and you'll probably go back to old faithful, but see what it feels like in different positions, it's all part of the fun of it.
Maybe your left hand is a better bet than your right?
Do you always use the same one hand to masturbate? Most men do. If you're one of them, start by using the other hand. It can feel strange to start with and the rhythm might be a little off. It's like someone's doing it for you, wonderful.
Get your body moving
Most men don't move at all when they masturbate. But when they are making love to a woman it's quite different. Why? Try to move your hips when you masturbate, simulating the thrusting of intercourse. Moving your hips in different ways can bring you closer to the point of orgasm giving you control. Delicious!
Use different hand strokes
Most men learn early on that vigorous strokes do the trick. This intense up and down stimulation usually ends in a good orgasm. However, there are many other strokes, speeds and pressures that bring with them different sensations and sometimes better orgasms. The more you can stimulate yourself mentally the less you will need to stimulate yourself physically. The best orgasms come from inside your head.
Be bold , experiment a bit
This can be a very difficult period in your life and one in which you deserve some pleasure and relaxation. It's also a time when you can explore the things that really turn you on. Go further than just stimulating your penis. Explore the surrounding area. For many men the testicles are a very sensitive area that responds well to feelings of touch and pressure.
Tug gently on your scrotum as you masturbate. This is both a way to delay ejaculation and to extend your sexual pleasure throughout the body. The perineum is the area between the scrotum and anus and is very sensitive to gentle pressure and massage. This also provides external prostate stimulation. Wow!
Long term benefits
Some will find this helps you to learn more about yourself and the things that pleasure you. So when you are with a partner again you will be better able to guide her towards what you like as well as being more responsive to her needs. That sounds like a win win situation.