We at MyLifeAfterDivorce need to have our finger on the pulse of the rapidly changing world of getting and being divorced. We offer our insights into dating after divorce.
We want to give the best support and advice we can as we know that getting back into dating again after divorce can be very difficult and stressful. This is just what you don't want as you begin your new life after divorce.
What people say on dating sites
So we decided to look at lots of dating sites to see if there were any common themes to what people look for in a new partner. We looked at this more from both a male and female point view. For women cuddling up on the sofa with a glass (or a bottle) of red wine and a dvd seems pretty much a universal expectation. Men tend to profess to liking more energetic pursuits.
The more clued up of both sexes tended to write in their online dating profiles what they think their prospective dates would be looking for rathe than the unvarnished truth. This possibly well meaning subterfuge can lead to some disappointments misunderstandings on the first date.
What women want
I know it sounds like a terrible cliché but women do seem to have a more emotional and romantic take on the life they are looking for. Long walks on the beach holding hands and cosy nights in cuddling on the sofa with a DVD and a full bodied Australian (that's a wine not a sun tanned surfer) seems to be the preferred deal.
What men want
Divorced men on the other hand tend to be a tad more practical or even mundane. Mostly they are in replacement mode, just like before but without the hassles and with lots of sex.
Not a great meeting of minds here!
Humour conquers all
However, take heart. The one thing that can help bridge this chasm is a sense of humour. Known before the coming of internet dating as GSOH. When women describe themselves in their profile they most often talk of their sense of humour and the most often requested characteristic in men is the ability to make a woman laugh.
No need to look like Johnny Depp and have the intellect of a Nobel prize winner just bring a laugh to her voice and a smile to her face. Now we are not talking here about telling jokes. Jokes are not funny unless they are subtle, clever and are delivered with perfect timing by a really good stand up. Having a sense of humour is about being witty and quick witted, of seeing the humour in day to day life and being aware of the innate fragility of the human condition (I can't believe I just said something so pompous!).
The best advice
So the best divorce advice for men is to forget the past, enjoy a good walk holding hands and bring a smile to her face or even a laugh to her eyes. Then your future could be a whole lot better than you thought.