Managing expectations, a vital skill in dating for divorced men and women

Dating: by the time you've learned how to do it properly, you probably don't need it anymore.  A bit like sex and a lot of other things but don't despair, learning can be fun!

That first post divorce date 

You’re beside yourself with barely controlled excitement because his profile on Would Like To Meet dating for divorced people makes him look and sound like the latest wunderkind actor just back from the Cannes Film Festival, or your best friend describes your blind date as a dead ringer for your ideal girlfriend.  In reality this is not going to be how it is.  So manage your expectations and then you may be mildly suprised at just how gorgeous/fanciable your date turns out to be.

long legged birdKindness and consideration
Having to spend the evening with someone you've met on an online dating site and are never going to fancy is a very tricky situation to deal with.  Keep an open mind before you embark on a date with anyone, whoever that anyone is and don’t get your hopes up too high beforehand.

Imagine if the roles were reversed and the person sitting opposite you in the restaurant would prefer to be eating their own leg rather than trying to be charming while you dribble pasta sauce down your front.

At the risk of sounding like your grandmother just remember that good manners cost nothing.  Even though you may want to leave three minutes after arriving at your chosen meeting place just remember everyone has feelings.  Be courteous and kind at all times.

nice pigHow to bale out with dignity and empathy
If you find yourself in the middle of a post divorce dating catastrophe don’t panic.  Don’t make overtures to leave straight away however much you want to. See the date out and at an opportune moment make a hopefully, believable, excuse for needing to leave.

Leave your date on good terms but be non-committal about whether you want to see them again.  The dating game is supposed to be fun, and if you genuinely feel that you gained nothing at all out of your date then you shouldn’t feel pressured to see again anyone that you don’t want to.

The positive side to a dating disaster
Rescuing yourself from a dating after divorce disaster does have a positive side.  At least you will know you can be tactful and considerate in the face of calamity.  Such situations also teach you to be realistic about dating and you shouldn’t rush the search for your perfect partner.  The next one really might be the one.

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