Having to adjust to being on your own again after what may have been a marriage of many years is not going to be easy. Being optimistic post divorce means that the future needs to be viewed as a new beginning rather than an ending.
Life after divorce
When any of us embark on that rubble strewn path signposted divorce we cannot be certain of anything that the future might hold. There are two ways we can go. We can take the fork in the road to anguish and self pity or we can take the fork marked optimism and lets make the best of what might turn out to be not quite so bad after all.
The future after divorce can be any colour you like – red, purple, pea green – but what you can be sure of is that it will be very different. from your life before getting divorced.
Unfortuneatly there is lots to be worried about It is understandable to be concerned about the financial implications of divorce or be worried about finding a new home or re-training for work but, by not allowing yourself to sink into despondency when things threaten to overwhelm, you will gradually be able to find your way through the divorce minefield..
You may, of course, have left your husband or wife to pursue another relationship but this does not necessarily mean that life is going to be a roses round the door picture of domestic bliss. Guilty feelings and the first flush of a new romance do not necessarily add up to happy ever after and if children are involved from previous relationships then the pressures on a new liaison will be much greater.
The unwilling divorcee
If you are the dumped rather than the dumper it could be a very long time before you recover from the feeling that you have been rejected or betrayed by someone with whom you thought you were going to spend the rest of your days.
Don't date until you are ready
The damage to self esteem cannot be under estimated, suddenly everyone appears to be part of a couple – apart from you. Of course, nothing could be further from the truth but it is a big mistake to succumb to the temptation of a new relationship just because you feel left out of things or you need to be reassured that someone still finds you lovable and attractive.
Such relationships almost always fail and you run the risk of feeling worse than before. Take your time and when you are ready proceed slowly with a good quality dating site. Do not despair. You may be a government statistic but even though your marriage may not have survived, with enough support after divorce your future can be fulfilling and happy in ways that you never thought possible.