Now you are divorced: choices, choices, choices!

Divorce is a simple choice which is very difficult to make.  You either do get divorced or you don't.  If you do then life after divorce is a different world, the new possibilities are exciting but the choices to be made can be daunting.

Endless choice the enemy of satisfaction
Our world is now beset by choice.  Try going to the supermarket to buy the simplest product without having to wade through numerous brands each with, organic, low salt, free range, non bio or low fat versions.  Each choice has to be considered, evaluated and made with due diligence.  No wonder supermarket shopping takes longer to complete than a Doctorate in particle physics.

couple on beachThere is evidence that the more choice you give people the more stress this creates and the less enjoyable is the satisfaction gained from that choice.  This is the key to the dating dilemma in life after divorce, especially if you use internet dating where the choice is effectively limitless.

How to makes choices
According to a leading economist the population is divided into two categories, the Maximisers and the Satisfyers.

Maximisers  He or she will go looking for either a date or a new lifetime partner say on the internet.  They find someone who fulfils all their criteria but instead of letting that relationship build they will continue searching the net to find the instant perfect partner, whom they believe must exist. 

It's a constant search as they believe that amongst the dates they have already had or those they could have in the future, the perfect person exists.  How many women (and rather less men) still believe in the ‘our eyes meet across a crowded room (or dating site) and I knew we were destined for each other' scenario.  It's the Holy Grail of dating!

Satisfyers  These people look for a excellent solution and then let things develop without constantly checking their dating site to see if they are missing out.  If that does not work out they will search again.  This is not a case of accepting second best but rather a realisation that the enjoyment of dating is meeting new possible partners not in the searching to find them.

Making choices in any area of your life is always going to be difficult, the best divorce advice is to follow the Satisfyer's philosophy which will probably give you a more enjoyable and fruitful dating experience and who knows you might just find that knight in shining armour across a crowded room.

 

Follow Us

Back to top