How to make the divorce process a bit easier: Part One

Divorce is never going to be a walk in the park and your life after divorce is going to be very different.  Here is some useful divorce advice on how to make the divorce process a little less painful for both of you and the transition to a new life a little easier.

There are many ways for each of you to make things more difficult, painful and expensive for the other.  There is usually no need for advice on how to do this, for many it seems to come naturally.  However, for those not bent upon maximum destruction there are some simple ways to help you towards a stress reduced divorce.

husband and wife talkingKeep talking and listening or start doing it again
You may well have stopped talking already.  The road to divorce often starts with a breakdown of communication between you.  However, if you can both talk and listen to each other then there will be less room for misunderstandings and more chance of a shorter and cheaper divorce process.  The longer the divorce takes the more money will pass from both of you to the ever welcoming pockets of your local friendly divorce lawyer.

Think hard before you even consider defending a divorce
In reality nobody (including the Judge) is interested in the facts of the marital collapse.  If one of you wants out then the other effectively has no chance of preventing it.  The divorce process will take longer, be more expensive and arrive at the same result.  Divorce on demand is a practical reality.

sep_and_div.jpgKeep ‘unreasonable behaviour' to a few key examples
'Unreasonable behaviour' is the most popular reason for divorce.  Not neccessarily becase it's the most common but because it's the most convenient.  It's easy and just requires a few instances of unacceptable behaviour.  These instances need not be true and you will not be asked to prove any of the allegations you make.

The best strategy is to recall a couple of minor incidents, embelish the facts and then blow it up to appear many times worse than it was.  Having a fight in court about this will achieve nothing and will be expensive.  I'm afraid you are just going to have to accept this falsehood. 

Do not involve the children in the divorce
Divorce is about two things - your children and the money.  The children are paramount.  Very rarely do the children want their parents to split up.  They should be told carefully and gently what is happening and reassured from the very outset that they are still loved by both parents and that it is not any fault of theirs that this major change in their lives is about to happen.

Involving them in the divorce process will only invite them to take sides.  This is to be avoided at all costs.  If at the end of divorce your children still love you both then that will be a very worthwhile and lasting achievement.  You will all then be better prepared for getting on with your new lives.




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