Life after divorce: a beginner's guide

Life after divorce is a very different place from the married life you have just left or are contemplating leaving.  It's uncharted territory and will require major changes which you can prepare for now. 

Be prepared
Like going on a journey, you need to prepare for the conditions you can expect to find at your destination.  Arriving in New York in January with only a bikini and a beach sarong is not going to make for a comfortable stay.  Your luggage should contain the things you will need to make the best of your new life after divorce

Here are three things that you might wish to take on board for the journey.

woman in bikini and sarongLook on the bright side
Like so many clichés it's actually true.  We may have often wonderd if only we could just start all over again knowing what you know now?  Now you can.  Having a positive mental attitude to the life changing process you are experiencing will make a huge difference to way you cope with and benefit from life after divorce.

It's a great opportunity to make some radical changes to your life that you want rather than just react to those forced upon you.  Take this as an opportunity to get a fresh start on your own terms.

Surround yourself with people you like
Don't hide away.  It's often tempting to take refuge from the firestorm of divorce.  Spend as much time as you can with your friends.  Don't lose sight of the rest of the world as it rolls on unchanged beyond the claustrophobic parameters of the divorce process.  There is still real life out there.

It may not be the right time to start a new relationship, staying close to friends and family will give you the support you need.  The joys of dating are best left to a time when your life is on a more even keel and you are ready to embrace the many opportunities offered by your new life after divorce.

Set specific goals and implement a plan to achieve them
Life after divorce can be a tumultuous time.  To help you feel better about yourself and enjoy the satisfaction of doing something positive, think about setting yourself a goal or set of goals.  Don't make them too difficult.  The last thing you need right now is a sense of failure.  Cycling to work one day a week or losing a few pounds a month is a modest way to start the process.

Divorce can be an extremely liberating experience if you can maintain a positive and optimistic outlook.  Life after divorce holds great promise for a better way of life if you take full advantage of the opportunities that will come from a brand new start.

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