Great advice on getting ready for the challenges to come

What will life after divorce actually be like?  In contrast to marriage, the other big life changer you don't get to have a dress rehearsal for divorce so it's all new and a whole lot scary.

If you are the one who wanted to divorce then you may be moving on to another relationship.  However, going from an affair to a long term live in relationship has its own set of problems, especially if you have children involved.  The move into perfect bliss will not be without the need to restructure your life to manage living with another person, in another house, in another existence.

dangerous rocks on the shorelineLife after divorce is nothing like life was before it
If you aren't the one who initiated it (or are not moving on to another partner) you will be moving into rough and uncharted waters with many a jagged rock or smooth sandbank lying beneath the surface to rip the backside out of your life or hold it fast for years.  Your financial situation is often a major and dangerous underwater obstacle.  Get financial advice if you need to

In many cases divorce will be difficult, in some cases it will be disastrous but in all cases it will be survivable.  Once you have survived you can build upon that achievement to create a new which is better and more satisfying than the one you had before.

Here are some thoughts to consider in creating your new life after divorce:

Strive to create emotional stability
Your emotional stability is of vital importance because without it the readjustments you will need to make will be way more difficult.  The best way to start is to absolutely own up to and come to terms with the fact that you are (or soon will be) divorced.  There is no going back.  Without that you will find it hard to make progress.

Emotional stability does not mean that you don't have large fluctuations in your emotions but that you recognise this and can exercise a measure of control over it.  Facing your situation head on is critical to achieving emotional stability.

Work to get the right outlook
"Always look on the bright side of life."  Great song, great line and like many gut churning clichés it's actually true.  Just being told to be positive is of little value, wanting to be positive is a great way to start.  Your new life after divorce is (or will be) the only game in town, there is no option but to move forward in good heart.  Another cliché comes to mind "Half empty/Half full."  True again.  It's just a case of your mental attitude and your perspective.

Spend time with people who really matter
Surround yourself with people whom you value and who value you.  Not always easy to do as when the spoils of the marriage are divided up your mutual friends are often treated like the furniture, "You get these and I get those."  Avoid this if you can.  Be ruthless in deciding who you want to be with, if dating is your thing take it slowly.  Rushing into a new relationship is not always the answer to loneliness.

The kids are the most important
Never ever forget your kids, they matter above all else.  They will always love you.  Their love should be nurtured and cherished to help sustain both them and you.  They are a link to the good bits of the past and the bridge to the brighter, better bits in the future.

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