Finding yourself single again after getting divorced takes some getting used to. After the initial shock/euphoria of your newfound freedom has worn off, it’s fair to say some people cope with being single again better than others.
Re-establishing your life after divorce
The key is not to let yourself slip into a Bridget (or Barry) Jones mire of self-pity and desperation by getting involved in things again as soon as possible. If you have a network of family and friends to support you through the hard times post divorce that will be a great help.
However, lying on the sofa with a bottle of vodka watching East Enders every night or propping up the bar and telling anybody who's prepared to listen just how awful your ex wife is will lose you their sympathy and everybody else's. Fast.
It’s a fact that there is only so long that other people will be prepared to listen to a recitation of your woes and the story of your divorce. Being single again when you thought you were going to spend the rest of your days in comfortable companionship with your partner in marriage might be the hardest test you’ve faced in your adult life.
However, it's vital that you reclaim your confidence and self-respect by meeting new people and reconnecting with the world. Joining clubs and societies or learning new skills that will help you do this and add a sense of proportion to your life.
Cast off those post divorce chains
After divorce many men and women throw off the shackles and obligations to a partner that may have tied them to a mundane job and go on to start an exciting new business or re-enter education, full or part time. And you won’t be getting active just for the sake of it. Taking on new challenges and meeting new people will help focus your mind on where your life is going, not what has gone before. Dating again is good but don't start straight away and take it very, very slowly.
Learn something new after divorce
One of the best ways to ease yourself back into a social life after divorce, without having to try too hard to find common ground with new people, is to undertake a course of study. The shared subject matter of the course itself gives class members the excuse to meet for a drink or go for coffee after a lesson. Friendships made in the relaxed atmosphere of learning new skills can often last a lifetime.
You might not remember this from school days, but learning can, and should be, stimulating and satisfying. So if you want to do that French A Level because you left school at sixteen now is your chance? Or what about a vocational course in web design to help you change careers or better still that degree in law that always appealed?
There are plenty of options
The options are many and varied, and just reading about what you can do will help you start formulating positive plans for the future. Perhaps the most important learning process you’ll go through now you have been through a divorce is how to be happily single again.
In realising your new independence and freedom, it’s crucial that you don’t isolate yourself but get out there and have fun. If you make the effort now you’ll soon view being single as the best way to live your life.