How to fix an unhappy marriage - have an affair?

The road to divorce can often take us through strange lands and to unfamiliar places.  One of those is the rather dark world of Married/in a Relationship Dating.

No single/divorced people looking for their soul mate here, but the rather desperate mostly looking for someone who will pay them attention, make them laugh and give them great sex.

man holds holds hands with two women having an affair"I have been married for just over 5 years, but it's safe to say we should have stuck to being friends!  The fire and passion is all gone!  I am a very sexual person who just craves a bit of attention.  I would like a bit of fire back in between my legs!"
Woman 28 North Yorkshire

"I love ladies who love their lingerie, and who feel sexy, confident and sophisticated in stockings, suspenders and high heels - but what man doesn't?
Man 54 London

Casual sex or real respect
Whilst casual sex is often being sort as the panacea for anything from an unsatisfactory to a completely collapsed marriage many just want to find someone to treat them kindly and with respect.  Often they see this relationship running in tandem with a long burnt out marriage and a workable alternative to getting divorced.

"I need to keep my home life secure that's why a discreet relationship is what I'm after, and I will offer that in return. Not looking to break up anyone's long term relationship, we all have our particular reasons why we have chosen this site.
Woman 47 Dorset

"I'm married but not always happily. I dream of being treated like a woman should be - not hearts and flowers but with respect and care."
Woman 49 Devon

"Married for a long time with grown up children.  Fed up with saying, 'it doesn't matter', when actually it does."
Woman 45 Dorset

Is this a good idea?
If a marriage is in bad shape then having an affair is very rarely going to do anything but make things worse.  Looking for perfection to replace your tired or totally dead marriage is likely to give rise to unrealistic expectations and further unhappiness and disappointment.

Going to Relate with your partner may not have the sexual frisson of a highly charged meeting with an almost total stranger but it may bring you back together with the person you once loved or give you both the chance to start again and have a new life after divorce.

 

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