The stress of divorce - ways to help cope and move forward to a better calmer world.

If divorce was easy then more people would be doing it than are already.  There is only one thing that will help to reduce the stress of the divorce process and that is the right method of divorce for your situation.

A good divorce lawyer is essential if there are complexities and disagreements between you and your spouse.  If the divorce is straightforward and not contested then a good quality online divorce service will be the best way forward.

That will handle the mechanics of the process of becoming two single people again.  Simple it is not.  But there is no other way of unscrambling the lives of two (or more) people.  If both of you can accept that this is going to happen then a sense of dignity and cooperation will be of great benefit to both of you.  It will lower the stress and, very importantly, make the whole process a lot cheaper.

The three foundations of a divorce recovery strategy
There are three very simple things you can do to help get yourself through difficult time.  They work together to help you both physically and mentally to help you take on the challenges and work towards a better life after divorce.  The first of these is diet:

We all know the basics of a healthy diet and that this is really important in any circumstances.  Eat properly (fresh meat, fish, fruit and vegetables) and regularly.

Don't skip meals during the day and then pig out on lots of bad stuff in the evening.  In times of great stress there is a temptation to over use high carbohydrate foods such as bread, potato and rice.  They make you feel good at the time but can trigger an insulin surge and a crash later on.

Cooking for yourself using good ingredients is the key to a great diet.  We have lots of help and advice about cooking plus some simple, easy to follow recipes to make it all more fun and interesting.

Lastly what's best to drink.  Water and lots of it.  Now it is totally unrealistic to think that the old habit of coffee during the day and wine in the evenings is suddenly going to change.  However, neither of these is really very helpful in times of stress, especially alcohol.  If your consumption of alcohol is beginning to rise, pull back.  Seek help if your drinking continues to increase.

A biological imperative that should not be overlooked.  It's so important as it's the time the brain has to recuperate and sort itself out.  Clearly it's not always possible to get the 7 or 8 hours that are recommended per night.  Sleeping pills/tablets are sometimes prescribed by GPs and they can help but they really should only be used as a short term temporary way of helping sleep.

To rely on this longer term is not going to be a good idea.  Alcohol will often help you to sleep but it will also cause you to wake up more often during the night and then feel less rested the next day.  This can promote a destructive spiral of less sleep and then more alcohol to help you sleep which in turn leads to less sleep.  This is not a good place to go and if you think you are heading in that direction, get help.

Again regular exercise of whatever sort is always good as it improves both the body and the mind.  In stressful situations the release of beneficial endorphins creates a sense of wellbeing and raised self esteem which is so valuable in dealing with the challenges of divorce and its aftermath.

The thing about exercise is what to do and where to do it.  To be honest who wants to go running around their neighbourhood on a wet Tuesday (or any other) evening.  Dry, well ventilated exercise with a good hot shower straight afterwards beats that by a country mile.  This combined with the ready-made excuse to watch trash television whilst pounding the tread mill makes the gym the best answer.

If you stick to your schedule and go regularly then the cost per visit works out to be quite reasonable.  And don't forget the added bonus, you never know who might be doing just what you are doing on the treadmill right next to you.  Fit/hunky, or what!


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