Whether you are driving around with “Just divorced!” balloons attached to your car or adding to Kleenex’s year end profits, the truth has to be faced head on, things have changed since your divorce and life after divorce has begun.
You are an individual again now you are divorced, which means you can put yourself first but before you can move forward and entertain the possibility of allowing someone new into your life it is important to “feel good in your own skin” and your surroundings play a big part.
Create a sympathetic environment
Whether you are a bit lost in a new, empty place or you have retained custody of the pre divorce marital bricks and mortar, some de-cluttering and re-decorating will make you feel a lot better. Your bedroom is a good a place as any to start.
Create a sensual space where you can relax, feel good, express your creativity and maybe in the future, your passion, with a new partner. Regardless of whether or not you are ready for that step, having a bedroom with décor, candles and music you love is a better alternative than sleeping in a bed with the same sheets you bought on your honeymoon and clutter that doesn’t allow you to move on now your life after divorce has started.
Where to start
Start by clearing out all the day to day clutter then decide on a colour scheme or theme e.g. Ethnic, Moroccan or better yet Urban Cool - something that really inspires you. The basic rule when it comes to colours is to incorporate a maximum of three in your room and stick to the same shade in your chosen colour. If you have found cushion covers you like, take one of them with you to the interior design shop to find throws or accessories to match the colour as closely as possible.
Buy yourself a treat
Treat yourself to some new bed linen, the best colour options are cream or white. That way you have a neutral base to work with and if you decide to change your colour scheme in the future you won’t have to change your bed linen. The same goes for curtains, most home interior design stores have ready made curtains, all you need is your measurements (or rather those of the windows!)
Your bed is key
Next, sensualise (can that really be a word?) your bed with a throw in a fabric that feels great on bare skin, soft wool, cashmere or possibly faux fur. Choose cushion covers to complement the look.
Get the accessories right
Decide which photos are really important to you and put them in frames that suit your décor, matching wooden frames are always a good neutral option but ornate antique frames you can pick up at car boots are great too.
Use candles to create soft ambient lighting. You can create a feature by placing three or more candles in a wooden or clay bowl surrounded by interesting stones, seed pods etc.
If you want to include plants make sure you have a `green thumb`. Otherwise go for dried grasses etc that you can find at any home interiors store. Clear your bedside tables leaving only your bedside light and a copy of the Kama Sutra cleverly concealed underneath your Booker shortlisted novel.
By changing your environment and creating a sensual space, you will change the way you feel when you close the bedroom door on the world. Taking the initiative and making these changes will have an effect on the way you feel about yourself and therefore how you are perceived by others. If all else fails, that edition of The Kama Sutra will make instructive reading next time you are not half way through a box set of the latest must see television drama.